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October is a very interesting month.
I often associate this time of the year with coziness and excitement, but at the same time anxiety, and the stress of making it through another month.
I thought it would be fun to tell my readers about things that I look forward to each month, that excite me enough to push through to another day.
Along with writing down one good thing every day, as I do in my bullet journal, I would like to implement this into my routine as well.
My therapist has had me get used to accepting that there are good things that happen every single day. When I think of the day I am having today it is easier to come to a positive conclusion now, even if there were bad things that happened.
For example, the other day I didn’t do great on the first exam I had in one of my classes. In the past I would have called myself a failure and felt bad for the rest of the week, thinking about it constantly. This time around I was still bummed but at least now I know what to expect on the next exam!
This is the kind of mindset I require to get through the day. It has taken a long time, but I feel like I am slowly getting somewhere.
The future, however, is still so scary to think of. It is either too idealistic and thus feels almost unachievable or it seems somehow bleak and empty of opportunity for me.
I am hoping that by writing out all the things I am looking forward to each month, then I can, in some way, begin this slow change towards a more positive outlook.
So, let’s get into some of the things I am excited about this month!
- Starting University Applications
- Exercising
- Eating (well)
- Watching (Halloween) Movies
- Blogging
- My Newsletter
- Celebrating Samhain
Starting University Applications
This one may seem a bit odd.
Especially since I am so so terrified of this whole entire process, that is applying to graduate school. EEK!
But I am excited to learn more and more about the process, requesting recommendation letters, and beginning all of my required papers that I feel more on top of it all. So, yes, this is all extremely stressful, but I look forward to making it through these next few months of (possible) agony in order to reach my ultimate goal.
Exercising
Just a few days ago, I was lucky enough to see my best friend after not having seen him in what felt like months but was probably only a few weeks.
While he was over we played some spooky Halloween music on the front porch while it was dark outside and just danced our little hearts out. It was so fun!
Now, I am a horrible dancer, but that does not stop me!
I was told I should look into being a clown at children’s birthdays, and that was such a compliment to me that I brought even some joy to others just by having a good time myself.
This little 35-minute dance session made me not only sweat but also realize how much better I felt afterward. I was more chipper, and even danced the whole time I ate snacks, folded laundry, and hopped in the shower.
Exercise is really hard to force myself to do since I suffer from a feeling of constantly being dirty/unclean, so sweating and knowing that I’m going to need to shower right after, eat enough food, and any other preparation stresses me to no end.
However, I really want to work on this for my own good.
I have a few days every few months where I feel like I’m getting back on track but then my mental state takes over again and I just can’t handle it.
So, this month, starting with this first full week of October, I want to try exercising at least 2 times every week, and slowly build it up.
It doesn’t have to be exercise exercise.
If all I can manage is a 15-minute dance session to One Direction then that is awesome, and I will be sure to congratulate myself on this achievement!
Oh! Don’t forget to stretch! (My little granny hip has been out for over a day! Wahh)
Eating (Well)
I have always had issues with food.
For the longest time, I have had an eating disorder that better and worsened in different ways over the years.
Going vegan helped me a lot with my eating since I was fully in control and fully aware of everything in my body (of course that was triggering too though).
But in the last few months, I have been eating so badly. And eating badly not only makes me feel bad, but it triggers my eating disorder!
So, it is my mission this month to make sure I eat at least 3 very healthy meals a week.
This may not sound like a lot, but don’t worry I am definitely eating way more than this!
Changing your eating habit is super hard, especially when you now have to take extra time to cook everything up in the kitchen which means having done so before you are absolutely starving (a problem I frequently have).
Hopefully, in the coming months, I will have a better grasp of my schedule, and all of my new life duties, and will be doing much better in the food department.
Watching (Halloween) Movies
This is the month!!!
It is finally time to re-watch all of my favorite spooky movies!
What a fabulous time of the year. So many times, I want to watch something scary and I’m told to add it to the Halloween playlist.
Well, friends… the time has come.
Realistically, I should have started on the first of October to get in as much horror as possible, but I have been much too busy to really recognize that this fabulously haunted month is finally upon us.
I’m thinking tomorrow, or the day after, that I will start on my list of movies, and who knows, maybe a few reviews will come of it.
Blogging
This might have been expected on my list of things I am excited about this month, but yes, it is blogging.
Starting something new, with absolutely no knowledge of how to do anything, is very straining on the mind and body. But I am finding great pleasure in seeing that I am actually proud of something that I have done, and somewhere over another person’s screen, they might like what I have done as well.
This is keeping me going every day. And I hope that in a few months, this will become more than I could have thought possible, considering where I started.
My Newsletter
This goes along with the topic of my blog.
I, very recently, started a newsletter to keep subscribers updated on my posts. So, far, it is not going as I had planned, and I have no idea what I am doing, but today’s project looks much better than yesterday’s!
And that’s all you can really hope for.
Celebrating Samhain
This holiday is very important to me.
It can be so difficult celebrating religious holidays when no one around you celebrates, let alone has any idea what the holiday is about.
For so many, it can be seen as a silly unnecessary reason for celebration and for some a Satan-worshipping atrocity that only serves to attract evil.
Neither of these things are true, and I would just love to finally be able to celebrate this most important holiday as this year comes to a close.
I have some plans in the works, such as baking, of course. But, also hosting a dinner for me and my passed relatives.
Something like this is most definitely odd for those who do not understand, however, I find such a joyous feast too exciting to even think about right now!
I will try to get some updates up on the blog or on my Instagram, so look out for those in the future!
This month marks so many new beginnings. Taking on so much at once is a little nerve-wracking (haha).
If I want to reach my goals, whether they be big or small, the key is to just keep on going!
So frequently, my fear gets in the way of starting, let alone continuing on. As a mission for myself, it is necessary that I accomplish a few tasks every day.
My planner helps a lot with this.
Some days, these accomplishments are to write an entire blog post, do a mini photoshoot, and make dinner, and other days I just need to make sure that I make the bed and rest.
In the future, once I “perfect” my schedule, I will be sure to share with you how it has helped me, and how to create your own.
In the meantime, just having ONE place where you keep all your tasks and plans will help you so so much with staying organized.
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